Monday 23 May 2016

Day 14

Author Life Month: Living with an autoimmune disease

So you may have noticed that I'm only on day 14 of my posts yet it's the 23rd of May...have I just been super lazy? I wish...

This is not really something I talk about in my 'author' life but the reality is that I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis (a form of Inflammatory Bowel Disease) back in 2003. So how does this have anything to do with me being writer?

Well, usually nothing. Until I start going through a bad phase where I'm so exhausted that, despite already sleeping solidly for 8 hours, I drop my daughter at school and go back to bed until I have to pick her up. So many people scoff at chronic fatigue but until you are so bone-weary that even putting clothes on and driving 3 miles feels like climbing Mt Everest, you will never truly understand. And this is when it affects my writing...

Because last week I could barely get out of bed. My hubby and daughter had to pick up the slack and deal with my lack of being able to cope with, well, anything. Even just sitting down in front of my laptop to write a simple blog post took every ounce of energy I possessed. So I went back to bed with all these ideas floating around in my head and no strength to actually get anything down on paper. This is when the frustration sets in...because my mind is raring to go while my body has the breaks on and I know if I overdo it, it will just take longer to get back to feeling somewhat human.

Most of the time I'm fine. I manage my condition well and know when I need to ease off and give my body a break. But sometimes a week like last week comes out of nowhere and reminds me that I'm not 'normal'. These are the times when I curse this wretched disease and want to scream about how it limits my life and just how bloody unfair it is. And then I feel guilty because there are so many people living with this disease who have it so much worse than me. 

Thankfully I have an amazing support system of people who are there to look after me...but I really wish they didn't have to.

To find out more about Ulcerative Colitis please visit https://www.crohnsandcolitis.org.uk/

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